Thursday, January 26, 2012

A New Year, Better and Stronger

I've been doing well lately.  My eating has been so-so, but my workouts have been consistent.  I ran 8.3 miles on Friday, rested Saturday, ran 8.2 miles Sunday, ran 5 miles Monday and last night I did Body Pump and then we had a sub in Zumba.  The sub was a lot of fun but was only prepared for a 45 minute class so I jumped on the elliptical for 20 minutes after class yesterday.  My pace on Friday averaged out at about 9.6 minutes/mile and on Sunday at 9.5 min/mile!  W00t w00t!  I only have to shave off a minute and a half to get to my goal pace. 
I've been thinking a lot about my future lately.  It seems like every year gets better for me.  Physically, emotionally, mentally.  I seem to finally be figuring things out.  Sometimes it's hard to even remember who I used to be, I feel like an entirely different person these days, I feel like me.  There are a few things I want to work on/accomplish this year:
1) I want to reach goal weight.  I'd like to maintain a weight between 115 and 120 lbs.  That's only 8-13 lbs away.  I've lost 132 freaking pounds in less than two years, surely a year is a realistic time frame to get rid of this last little bit.  
2)  I'd like to have my running pace to at least 8.5 min/mile.
3)  I want to have the ball rolling on continuing my education.
and finally/most importantly:
4)  I want to be a better person.  I make this goal every year and I feel like each year I do make some improvement.  Included in that is to minimize gossip.  I feel like I've improved on that this year, but I could still do better. This year I will strive to stay away from the gossip!  I hate it and it sickens me somewhat, but somehow I still get pulled into the web of treacherous whispering and covert glances.  I do not see the need to talk smack about everyone else to make yourself feel better, yet it seems to be an epidemic.  Usually I am good about keeping my mouth shut, but sometimes things just come out.  I want to be less critical and self-righteous, and more considerate and thoughtful.

One example of this involves my fitness instructors (the critical part).  When I first started taking classes I was under the impression that all certified fitness instructors were on a pedestal and were untouchable.  I felt that they should be perfect and have all the answers!  I would scrutinize the instructors and then judge them based on how they compare to the others.  This was in part due to ignorance and naivety, but largely due to just being judgmental (you might remember a reference to the Grumpy Panda aka raging bitch in a blog entry not long ago).  Also this attitude was due in part to intimidation, I somewhat thought they were unapproachable, almost like they wouldn't want to associate with someone as unfit and unhealthy as I.  Low self-esteem speaks volumes.  It's easy for one negative thought to lead to an endless list of them and once you've started thinking poorly of yourself, it's that much easier to try and think negatively of others.  Now, of course, I realize that they are human, and honestly, just like everyone else.  No one is perfect and everyone is different and that's what makes working out enjoyable.  If everyone did the exact same moves, routines, songs, releases, had the exact same teaching manner, it would be so much easier to get bored and lose interest.  I've learned that what I really love about my classes isn't that my instructors show me how to do things "perfectly", it's that they show me how to do things in a way to get the best results while having fun!  I love all my classes and all my instructors and I love that they are all different and I really wouldn't have it any other way.  That kind of negative thinking is what holds me back and brings me down, and it's hurtful to others.  I want nothing to do with that kind of mindset.  There are other situations that come to mind when I think about improving my attitude, but this particular situation has been on my mind lately since my Zumba certification is coming up.  I've been nervous about getting certified, I am not certain I have what it takes, but I know I want to try. I've become appreciative of the fact that it involves a massive amount of guts to get in front of a class of people and instruct. How can you not respect someone that puts his/herself out there like that? Anyway, to sum it up, one of my goals this year is to be less critical of people and to not participate in gossip, so if you catch me doing either, please call me on it! I hope to exhibit some self control to result in strengthening my personality by working on these vices. The gossiping I need to avoid is mostly at the office, let's hope my resolve keeps me strong there!

I have posted a couple new recipes on my recipe section. The past few days I've been eating homemade deep dish pizza for dinner and tonight I had the kielbasa mac and cheese bake. The trick to making a healthy pizza is to roll the crust out in a pie pan and fill it up with lots of veggies, some cheese and low fat meat so you get filled up with not as many pieces. I filled mine with green peppers, mushrooms, red onions, black olives, reduced fat mozzarella, and turkey pepperoni. That plus a salad came out to just over 500 calories and I was plenty satisfied. Well, I'm beat, I have a psychotic cat sitting on one side of me and an abnormally adorable puppy on the other, they are both radiating heat making for a very nice snooze spot, so I believe I'm going to watch a movie so I can doze until bedtime! :-p

Cookie, the psychotic cat ran off, but Bella sticks by me always.  ;)

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