Thursday, April 5, 2012

Never Easy

Things are never easy, especially not the case when you assume they will be.  Life has been stressful lately, definitely not easy and worse yet, my knee still is not better.  I've been taking a plethora of rest days lately, trying to give it time to heal up, and I've been taking glucosamine, icing it, all that good stuff.  The rest days are killing me though, I'm not training like I want to be for the half marathon at the end of the month and to be honest I just want to run!  I haven't even been doing Zumba or Body Pump, besides teaching on Monday and Thursday.  I'm aching for the stress relief I get from running and getting a good hard workout.  My eating has been so-so, not bad, but not the best.  I think I have a tentative plan set into place now.  I will keep training for the half (I already freaking paid, man!); but this is really no big deal.  I ran 10 miles last Friday without too much pain, a bit of soreness, but nothing like Tuesday's pain.  After the half, however, I plan to take 2-4 weeks off from all high impact working out (excepting the nights I teach).  I will try to use this time to get comfortable biking and swimming. Then I can get back into running in June and start marathon training by July.

Last night I almost went to Zumba, I wish I had because I've SO missed going to other instructor's classes!  But my knee started getting a bit sore towards the end of the day, so I opted out.  I need my knees and there's no point in ignoring what could become a serious issue because then I'll have to stop running (and maybe Zumba!) altogether.  My own class is going well, there's usually at least 15 or so people present and I have several regulars.  I enjoy it and feel like I'm getting there as far as improvements, but it's not the same as taking a class.  I think the participants enjoy it, too, or else why would they come back?  I ordered new Zumba shoes last night, this was long overdue!  My knee is fine thus far, so I think taking yet another rest day yesterday was the right decision.

I've come to realize that my journey will never be over and probably never be easy, either.  In one way I'm resentful of this fact.  Extremely resentful, in fact.  But at the same time, I will never take being healthy and thin for granted!  Buying new clothes is especially awesome, as are compliments, fitness accomplishments, etc.  I've sat at 130 for what feels like forever now and I am somewhat resentful of that, but I'm trying to just remember that I've lost half my body weight, I can afford to maintain for a few months if that's what my body has a need to do.  What I'm really resentful is of how difficult it is to maintain!  It's not easy!  It's a fine line between eating to fuel training and using training as an excuse to eat poorly.  Of course here lately I haven't exactly been training, so then I struggle to adjust my eating to not working out very often.  Weight loss is not a science by the way.  As much as we all would like to say eat 1500 calories and burn 2000 calories and you will lose one pound a week... it is not so!  Sure, I would definitely say eat less, burn more, but there is no exact calculation that will guarantee you lose the weight exactly as you plan to.  Anyway, so 2+ years after the start of my journey I still struggle, I still am not quite where I want to be; but I am still progressing.  Whether it be mentally, emotionally, physically... something is changing for the better.  I have plenty of time to lose the rest of this weight, I'm healthy and fit, more confidant than I've been in quite some time and I'm at least satisfied with my weight and appearance, if not thrilled.  130 pounds was my initial goal and I have met that, so I shall be thankful for what I have accomplished and just keep in mind that it still isn't over yet.

2 comments:

  1. Maintenance is harder than losing the weight, I think! I would like to lose 15 more pounds, but with the way I struggle at this weight, with exercising at least an hour a day so I can eat (a little too much, btw), I don't know if I can do more or cut back!

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    1. I definitely understand the sentiment! I run to eat! Period. lol

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