Friday, May 25, 2012

Happy (or not so) Long Weekend!

I love long weekends!  Love, love, LOVE them!  I had a great long weekend, but not so great on the health side.  The rest of last week and this week have just flown by.  I did well with my eating and exercise all last week and even on the weekend.  I ran 8 miles on Friday and ran 6.66 on Sunday along with a 45 minute Zumba workout.  Monday is where things started turning South.  I had planned on taking the day off if I didn't have enough time to go for a run before the cookout, so I wasn't too upset when I realized there would be no time to run and finish all my preparations.  I did however, get upset at the end of the day when I realized I had eaten lots  and lots of cookies.  I had at least 5, most probably 6 and I instantly felt guilty.  They were spread out throughout the day, so I'm not sure if this would be considered a binge or not, but I sure am glad they are out of the house now.  (In my defense, I'm PMSing) I was talking to a friend about my lack of control on Monday, and her response was "That's it??" and then continued on to tell me about some of her eating escapades. I felt better after that, especially since she's thin and I was reminded that yes, thin women have eating disasters, too! It helped drag me out of my fat girl mindset for the time being! So of course my intent was to instantly get back on track, but that has been a tricky feat.  I've been hungry all week, satisfaction always seems miles away when it's come to my appetite this week.  My workouts have been meh and my eating so-so, so I've changed my plan to surviving the week and making the best out of what's left and really making next week count.  Tuesday I did Body Pump, my sister came again and this time brought a friend!  It's a Body Pump epidemic, w00t!  Then I ran 3 miles on the treadmill.  I really meant to run 5, but I felt so worn out, I think the bad eating tires me out.  >.<  Plus I haven't been drinking water like I'm supposed to, so I'm sure I was dehydrated.  Bleh.  Then last night I bitched out.  I was going to go to Zumba and then run 3 miles.  But I was falling asleep at my desk, so I thought "It will be a lot more convenient to go home and run and then I'll already be home", plus I didn't know how the storms were going to turn out so I opted to already be close to home if they hit.  Well, by the time I got home I was starving.  So my next thought was "After dinner I'll go for a run".  Heh.  By the time I ate it was already close to 9 and I was ready to crawl into bed.  So I said "screw it".  I sat and read for a bit and then I decided that I would at least go for a walk.  So I take off about 9:45 and start walking.  I focused on keeping my abs and glutes tight, so at least I could get a little toning into the deal and actually really enjoyed my walk.  It's been a long time since I "went for a walk", it's always run like hell or do nothing.  I seem to have that all or nothing mindset and it fucks with me all the time.  Either eat well or crazy bad, run 6 miles or not at all.  Go to Zumba and run 3 miles or do nothing.  And the list goes on and on.  I wonder if this is how I got fat in the first place.  I struggle with it constantly and really have been working on it.  I think going for a walk last night was a good step in the right direction.  Earlier in my journey I would work out 6 days a week and go for a walk on the 7th.  That's back when I was full throttle losing.  I wonder what changed in between now and then.  I hate that I'm still struggling with this, you would think after 2+ years that everything would be easy.  But it's not.  And I do not care what anyone says, I think it's harder to maintain and/or lose those last few pounds that any of the rest of it.  So anyway, about 45 minutes into my walk I decided I was ready to be home and I was kicking myself for not changing into workout clothes and running shoes.  I had worked up a glisten of sweat even though it was nice and cool out and I really just wanted to run.  I kinda screwed myself there.  I think the lesson was that if I had just changed and forced myself out the door for a run, I would have ran and even enjoyed it!  And what's sad, is that is exactly what I tell people, just force yourself to start and the rest will come.  Because about 50 minutes into my walk I finally just started running.    What stopped me were headlights and a dog barking at me, scaring the beejeezies out of me.  I realized I must have looked like a crazy woman with my boobs bouncing around and my jeans plastered to my thighs and my hair in a flurry and a sudden deer-in-the-headlights expression on my face.  But that was an awesome extremely short run.  I was really wishing I had worn my running clothes because I would have had a great run, methinks.  I walked 55 minutes and ran 5 minutes, that's better than nothing, but I need to refocus on forcing myself to do things.  I deliberated getting up and running this morning, but I knew I had Body Pump and teaching Zumba on the schedule for tonight and tomorrow I need to get up early to get my 8 miles in before going to donate platelets.  So I thought it would only be damaging to over compensate for my mistakes and that the extra hour of sleep would do me some good. I had a great workout in Body Pump, my awesome sister came and did it with me. I still haven't convinced her to try Zumba, but I will one of these days! My Zumba class was great, too, a lot of fun and I got a dose of much needed stress relief! I busted ass, too, so hopefully I got rid of a cookie or two. ;)  Okay, well I'm done on that soap box, one of these days I'll be able to tell you all that I finally hit 120 pounds and that all I had to do was rewire my brain!  :-p    Ooooh and I had written that I would post pictures of my awesome Social D shirt!  Mark took the pictures and I'm not certain, but I think he may have gotten full body (and my butt) in there on purpose.  Which I don't mind because after posting them on FB, I got tons of compliments, so whooooooops!  ;-)

Is anyone else out there struggling?  It's funny how one bad eating day can just really throw me off, I think I made a good decision when I decided that cookies are something I can't keep in the house.  They are something to bake and take to others or to just buy enough to have one of, but definitely not something to be just chilling in my kitchen.  It will be a good weekend!  I will make sure of it!

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

SP 2nd Blog - March 30, 2010

Today was a decent Tuesday.  I have decided that on Tuesdays I'm going to start running instead of doing Zumba, I shall continue with Body Pump, but instead of taking Zumba just run 4-6 miles afterwards.  I need to get my speed up and I want to lose these last pounds and that entails more running, so that's what I'll do.  I set the alarm an hour early and really, truly intended to get up and run 5 miles before work so all I would have to do is Body Pump after work, but the snooze button won.  For some reason, I was so exhausted this morning.  I was definitely dragging all day.  It was staff meeting day (food day) and I brought some lentil soup that my dad and I made... okay, more so my dad than I, but whatever, I helped!  It's really not my fault, I  asked for his insight because he makes the best lentil soup, and he just kinda took over.  Anyhoo, the soup was a hit!  Today my sister met me at the gym after work and did Body Pump with me, she did so awesome and I'm super proud!  She says she'll start coming with me, so yay!  Afterwards I hit the dreadmill and got in a total of 4.67 miles.  Odd number, I know, but I was doing intervals and I stopped according to how my intervals were going.  It took me a total of 44 minutes, which is not too shabby (for  me) considering that includes a 2 minute cool down and two minutes of jogging at 5.5 to warm up.  I switched it up between 6.5, 6.3 and 6.0 for  the rest of the run.  This is the deliciousness that awaited me for dinner when I got home:

Green bean stew I referred to last blog, I can't prounounce the Arabic name.
However, I still have not eaten because I'm suffering from crazy heartburn; maybe working on speed will help me drop the pounds in even more ways than I planned!  Now that I've given a brief update, I thought it was time for a past Sparkpeople blog post, so here we go:

What's wrong with me??

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

The past month I've felt really.... bleh! I'm not sure what's going on, I need to be eating more protein and complex carbs maybe? Yesterday I ate a fiber plus bar and a banana for breakfast and I didn't even get hungry until almost 1. I made a pita, turkey, cow cheese, cucumber, tomatoe and spring mix salad and it looked SO good and sounded SO good. Then I ate half of it and started feeling nauseous. I ended up throwing the rest away! I'm not pregnant, I'm on birth control and on my time right now... then around 4:30 (right when I was leaving work of course!) I started hearing grumblings in my stomache, but I didn't feel hungry. Then I was starving by 6:30 when I finally got around to dinner. I just feel off. Tired all the time and blah! I've been kinda depressed the past week or two and I know that definitely contributes, but hey what can you do?? I don't feel like I'm losing any weight, though a gf at work says she sees it, but if I am plateauing already... Lord this is going to be tougher than I thought! Anyway, I'm gonna try and just keep my chin up, I won't give up this time!!!!!! emoticon

I guess I was a lot less winded back then, sorry for your misfortune at just tuning in now!  Alrighty I'm off to ice my foot.  Then I need to make lunches, do laundry and all the other shit men and children take for granted.  ;)  Ttfn.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Oi, Oi, Oi!

Omygoodness!  Time just keeps flying.. and flying and flying!  I wish it would slow down!  I remember being younger and having what at the time seemed like old people tell me to appreciate life because time just goes by faster and faster.  Oh, how I wish I had paid attention to them.  If I could just figure out a way to make time stretch just a wee bit longer.  Not like "can't wait for school to let out" slow, but more like summer evening with a glass of wine on the porch kinda slow.  Anyway.  I've been doing great with my workouts.  I worked out everyday the week before last except for Tuesday.  Then last week I worked out Monday through Friday, I took the weekend off.  I shall post a picture of me rocking my new Social D shirt soon.  The concert was bad ass.  The Toadies rocked the house and of course Social Distortion was amazing!  We really had a blast.  I did all my typical workouts last week, but then I ran 3 miles in addition to teaching on Thursday, ran 5 miles on Friday, regular workout on Saturday and ran 8 miles on Sunday.  I feel great, too!  Maybe part of my lethargy was just depression in relation to not getting my full workouts in?  I got all my blood work back from the doctor and apparently I'm fit as a fiddle so I guess I just need to sleep more and make sure and get my workouts in.  Monday I ran 2.35 miles in addition to teaching my class and Tuesday I finally went back to my Body Pump class and took Zumba.  Body Pump was a blast!  I had so much fun, it's unreal how much fun you can have lifting weights.  And I love Amanda, she really is awesome and I so missed her class!  Zumba was fun, too, it's always refreshing to take someone else's class when I've gone through a spell of only teaching for a week or two.  Wednesday night I took Zumba, even got to unexpectedly do a song and of course I had a blast.  I intended to run 3 miles afterwards, but I got talking to my instructor/friend/mentor afterwards and then the women's locker room was closed and we were limited to the girls' locker room.  This would be fine except there are no dividers in the showers or any form of privacy at all, and I'm just not confidant enough to be butt ass naked in a room full of strangers, women or not.   I had a meeting after the gym and I did not want to show up all smelly after a run, so I opted out.  I got a great workout in anyway.  Thursday I only got about 12 minutes in on the elliptical before I taught my class because I had to meet with the Group Exercise Coordinator for a few.  Friday I ran 8 miles.  I figure if I stay consistent with one 8 miler a week until I actually start Marathon training then I should be efficient enough that adding mileage won't be too hard once I get started.  My foot has been okay, the ankle almost completely healed and the Plantar Fasciitis is easing so long as I do everything I'm supposed to.  My insurance denied me a foot splint to sleep in, something about my coverage not being applicable; so I'm left to get something on my own, hopefully they're not expensive.  As I said, I took the entire weekend off and my foot just almost feels back to normal now (although that's not why I took the weekend off :-P).  I felt a little guilty for skipping my workouts/runs for the weekend, so this morning I got up and ran/walked 2.63 miles.  I intended at least 3, but about 1.5 miles into it my stomach started cramping up and I had to really use the bathroom and I was fearful of an accident.  So I ended up running 1.5, then walking for awhile (maybe half a mile?  it's hard to tell when I'm walking) and running sprinting the last probably 3/4 of a mile.  For some reason, I seem to think the "always go to bathroom before a run" rule only applies to long ones.  I was reminded this morning that indeed it's a rule applicable to all runs.  Tonight I instructed my class and I handed out my blog address to a couple of ladies.

My class is going great!  I love seeing all my regular attendees every week and I think they're starting to warm up to me!  I've gotten to talking to a few of them and I'm glad I have such a great bunch to work with!  I have been trying to decide whether it would be appropriate to give them my blog information, because several have expressed interest in losing weight, I thought maybe it could help them.  I don't want to appear to be trying to "capitalize" on my students though, albeit it's not like I make any money blogging.  I finally just went for it tonight, it had come out to a few of my students that I had lost a large amount of weight and it seemed to encourage them.  I didn't say anything at first because I didn't want to walk in pluming my feathers per se, but I did want to let them know I wasn't just some skinny bitch that says "You can do it, you can do it, you can do it!",  but then really have no clue what it's like.  That's how I used to think about skinny girls.  Now, though, I realize that women of all sizes struggle with their weight and it's not necessarily an isolated issue.  And while someone that hasn't ever been severely overweight may not necessarily understand all the different problems and mental challenges that comes from being obese, s/he can still understand the battle of the bulge.  I have had several people tell me that I'm thin and I don't need to lose more weight, yet the battle is still there.  There are still those few pounds that I will fight to the death to get rid of and I think most women (and lots of men) can relate to that.  Anyway, I need to go eat dinner and get tomorrow's dinner in the crockpot and ready to go in the morning.  I'm making an Arabic green bean stew kinda deal.  It's basically steak, green beans, spices and tomatoes in a tomato sauce base.  It's soooooooo delicious, and I usually serve it over rice.  Oh, shit, I forgot I have three loads of laundry to fold, too.  Yuck!  Ttfn!

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

1st SP Blog - 03/18/2010

From here on out this is how I will format my blog posts from Sparkpeople.  So I'm posting the very first blog post I wrote on Sparkpeople.  I'm thinking I may do one a week or something along those lines.  I'd like to point out a couple differences in my blog.  First of all, I created my Sparkpeople account on February 7, 2010, but I did not actively start trying to lose weight until February 15, 2010.  I wanted to wait so that we could go out for Valentine's Day.  Secondly, I really was 5'3 at the beginning of my journey and by the this point in time in my journey I'm now 5'2, you can do the math.  ;)   Also, unrelated to the post, but I recently created a Facebook Page for my blog, you can find it at Lealah on a Mission and I encourage you all to follow me there, if you'd like.    Also, I wrote here about the Ragnar Relay event I'm participating in and I failed to mention then (mostly because I didn't know if I was allowed to) but a documentary is being made about us!  It's super exciting (um and overwhelming, maybe?) and we're really trying to spread the word.  So, if you really want to show your support, visit my team's Facebook page and like us!  Anyhoo, here is my post, hope it resonates with some of you!

Not so bad

Thursday, March 18, 2010

I was feeling really down on myself, and honestly all of a sudden I'm not really sure why. I've been a member since February 7 and it's not March 18th. That's a little over 5 weeks in which I've lost 15 lbs... So really, I'm right on track! Not just that, but I want to lose 125 lbs by this time next year, 15/125 = .12 which means I've lost 12% of my excess body weight. I'm 12% of the way through!!! Looking at it like that really let's me know that perhaps I'm not doing too shabby after all! And also, I went to Catos last weekend and bought myself a really cute bra on sale, course I kinda just kept my head down, tried it on briefly, bought the thing and scrammed cause hey who the heck am I to buy cute underwear?? I bought my usual size, 40C, well let's just say I'm having control issues... Even on the 40c I would usually wear it latched on the last notch. Well this thing is on as tight as it will go and it's still loose, how exciting! My pants have become a little loose too! I'm surprised to see such a difference with only 15 lbs weight loss, but hey I'm only 5'3, so I guess it's going to look it! I can visually see a difference in my back fat, too, so... yay! Anyhoo I've got to go work. Buh bye! emoticon

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Cinco de Mayo Celebrations

Last week I took it really easy, mostly due to my ankle.  I have at least two big running events in less than a year and I am absolutely terrified of getting a serious injury.  I only taught Zumba on Monday, then took Body Pump and taught on Thursday.  I did 5.5 miles on the elliptical and 1 mile on the treadmill on Friday.  I took Zumba Saturday and Sunday and ran 2.5 miles on Sunday.  On Saturday I showed a couple of my Zumba ladies the song I had choreographed and they really liked it.  In fact, all of my Zumba ladies have really liked it  so far and one of them loved it so much that she asked me to go to her class on Sunday and do it for her class.  So, of course, I did.  My eating has been so-so, just right for maintenance actually.

Friday I got up early, went to the gym and then to my doctor's office.  I was going for the Plantar Fasciitis in my foot, but had a few other issues I brought up with her.   She gave me a few stretches and treatments for my foot, one of which was to roll my foot over a frozen water bottle so that it massages and ices at the same time.  Ingenious!  She also put in a request to my insurance for a splint to sleep in.  She said essentially, the reason it gets worse and never heals even though I've been taking anti-inflammatory drugs and taping my foot before every workout, is because it falls slack at night and re-injures itself.  She said that my ankle would be fine, it is probably only a strained tendon or ligament and to ice it as needed and to continue to wear my ankle brace and that it could take up to three months to completely heal.  Yuck.  I asked her about my workouts and she gave me the go ahead to continue on unless things get worse!  I was so happy to hear that!  So this week I'm back on track with my workouts!  I can deal with the soreness of it until it heals, so long as I can get back to my routine!  *happy dance*  I asked her if health wise I was in good shape to train for a marathon starting in late June or so, and she said yes, I am healthy enough, the only issue being my Plantar Fasciitis and that if I took care of it and treated it as necessary, that should be fine.  One other thing I asked her about was my chronic fatigue.  I told her that sometimes I just feel so tired like I absolutely cannot do a single thing.  She had a couple ideas about that, most of which would be related to my weight loss, and had them do some blood work on me.  Apparently this can be a common thing for women that have lost large amounts of weight and I'm actually hoping they find something.  Not because I want to have issues, but I'd rather there be something wrong with me that they can treat, than me be crazy and there be nothing to be done.  I'll post more about this when I get results back.  Friday night Mark and I went out with another couple to the comedy club; we really had a blast and I only drank 3 Michelob Ultra Light beers (I think those may be 64 calories a piece if I remember correctly), so I was pretty good as far as Friday nights go.  ;)

Saturday night I was not such a good girl.  I ate well all day and then Mark, my dad and I went to Chelino's to celebrate Cinco de Mayo.  I planned ahead and made the decision to splurge, so I wasn't going to count anything.  I wasn't going to eat to be sick, but I also wasn't going to stress about every calorie.  We really wanted to eat on the balcony because the weather was so lovely and it's just more fun to eat and drink margaritas on the balcony, so we ended up waiting about an hour.  Which is fine, because I was dead set on having a fun night and that totally revolves around the balcony!  It was definitely worth it!  The group next to us were a riot and we really had a great time cutting up with everyone.  I got a few good pictures, too.
A tad blurry
Dad and I
Best drink ever!  Sangria Swirled Margaritas!
I wish I had taken a picture of my food, it was delicious and I could only eat half of it, but I had a Mexican Especial Platter or something along those lines.  It included a chicken enchilada, a cheese enchilada, a beef taco and two tamales.  Mmmmm-mmmmm good!  I was definitely a tipsy girl by the end of the night, but my dad offered to drive and it's not often Cinco de Mayo, in fact, it only happens once a year!  ;)  I will say that I unfortunately paid for my extravagant weekend.  Yesterday morning I weighed in at 132.4; however, I will say that it was worth it because if nothing else I ended up with a couple of great pictures!  :-p  Not to mention I should be back to at least 130 by the end of the week.  If not it's because female times may settle in before then.  Some people may say that I made poor decisions over the weekend due to my constant bitching about my struggle with the infamous "last 10 pounds", though I say  it's important to weigh out those "last 10 pounds" in one hand and the prospect of enjoying life with the people you love in the other.  I didn't binge and I worked out everyday that I indulged, I feel justified in the way I spent my weekend.  I have busted ass for over two years to get to where I have and I finally feel that I'm at a point where I can balance things out.  Besides all that, with my injuries slowly and surely healing up, I'm getting ready to start stacking up miles again.  The weight just seems to kind of naturally slide off when I'm running regularly, so I'm not sweating it until I see myself gain and not drop those pounds in the week or so following.  As my dad says, live no regrets, enjoy your life!

I think I'm about to start a series of posts from my old blogs on Sparkpeople.  I feel that it may be more helpful to some to see where I was at in the beginning and middle of my weight loss rather than just towards the end.  I truly wish I had started a blog before this point, but maybe that little bit of insight will be helpful to some.  Tonight I am off to a Social Distortion concert!  Yay!  With special guests of the Toadies and Lindi Ortega (never heard of her).  It's been so long since I've been to a concert and I am super pumped!  So, I will yet again miss my Tuesday Body Pump class.  Major, major bummer!  I miss that class so much!  After today it will have been at least 3 weeks since I last attended that class, I'm almost to the point of suffering from withdrawals!  I managed to catch the class before teaching Zumba on Thursday, but it's just not the same!  I have cheered a few times on singles, but something tells me it's just not going to take off, so I digress.  But I will be back to my Tuesday routine next week and I will be extra careful so I hopefully won't injure myself any further and prevent any more hiatuses.  And maybe we'll figure out where the hell this fatigue came from and why it has been plaguing me for months.  Anyhoo, I am off to a rock concert, I shall post again (hopefully) soon!