Friday, May 25, 2012

Happy (or not so) Long Weekend!

I love long weekends!  Love, love, LOVE them!  I had a great long weekend, but not so great on the health side.  The rest of last week and this week have just flown by.  I did well with my eating and exercise all last week and even on the weekend.  I ran 8 miles on Friday and ran 6.66 on Sunday along with a 45 minute Zumba workout.  Monday is where things started turning South.  I had planned on taking the day off if I didn't have enough time to go for a run before the cookout, so I wasn't too upset when I realized there would be no time to run and finish all my preparations.  I did however, get upset at the end of the day when I realized I had eaten lots  and lots of cookies.  I had at least 5, most probably 6 and I instantly felt guilty.  They were spread out throughout the day, so I'm not sure if this would be considered a binge or not, but I sure am glad they are out of the house now.  (In my defense, I'm PMSing) I was talking to a friend about my lack of control on Monday, and her response was "That's it??" and then continued on to tell me about some of her eating escapades. I felt better after that, especially since she's thin and I was reminded that yes, thin women have eating disasters, too! It helped drag me out of my fat girl mindset for the time being! So of course my intent was to instantly get back on track, but that has been a tricky feat.  I've been hungry all week, satisfaction always seems miles away when it's come to my appetite this week.  My workouts have been meh and my eating so-so, so I've changed my plan to surviving the week and making the best out of what's left and really making next week count.  Tuesday I did Body Pump, my sister came again and this time brought a friend!  It's a Body Pump epidemic, w00t!  Then I ran 3 miles on the treadmill.  I really meant to run 5, but I felt so worn out, I think the bad eating tires me out.  >.<  Plus I haven't been drinking water like I'm supposed to, so I'm sure I was dehydrated.  Bleh.  Then last night I bitched out.  I was going to go to Zumba and then run 3 miles.  But I was falling asleep at my desk, so I thought "It will be a lot more convenient to go home and run and then I'll already be home", plus I didn't know how the storms were going to turn out so I opted to already be close to home if they hit.  Well, by the time I got home I was starving.  So my next thought was "After dinner I'll go for a run".  Heh.  By the time I ate it was already close to 9 and I was ready to crawl into bed.  So I said "screw it".  I sat and read for a bit and then I decided that I would at least go for a walk.  So I take off about 9:45 and start walking.  I focused on keeping my abs and glutes tight, so at least I could get a little toning into the deal and actually really enjoyed my walk.  It's been a long time since I "went for a walk", it's always run like hell or do nothing.  I seem to have that all or nothing mindset and it fucks with me all the time.  Either eat well or crazy bad, run 6 miles or not at all.  Go to Zumba and run 3 miles or do nothing.  And the list goes on and on.  I wonder if this is how I got fat in the first place.  I struggle with it constantly and really have been working on it.  I think going for a walk last night was a good step in the right direction.  Earlier in my journey I would work out 6 days a week and go for a walk on the 7th.  That's back when I was full throttle losing.  I wonder what changed in between now and then.  I hate that I'm still struggling with this, you would think after 2+ years that everything would be easy.  But it's not.  And I do not care what anyone says, I think it's harder to maintain and/or lose those last few pounds that any of the rest of it.  So anyway, about 45 minutes into my walk I decided I was ready to be home and I was kicking myself for not changing into workout clothes and running shoes.  I had worked up a glisten of sweat even though it was nice and cool out and I really just wanted to run.  I kinda screwed myself there.  I think the lesson was that if I had just changed and forced myself out the door for a run, I would have ran and even enjoyed it!  And what's sad, is that is exactly what I tell people, just force yourself to start and the rest will come.  Because about 50 minutes into my walk I finally just started running.    What stopped me were headlights and a dog barking at me, scaring the beejeezies out of me.  I realized I must have looked like a crazy woman with my boobs bouncing around and my jeans plastered to my thighs and my hair in a flurry and a sudden deer-in-the-headlights expression on my face.  But that was an awesome extremely short run.  I was really wishing I had worn my running clothes because I would have had a great run, methinks.  I walked 55 minutes and ran 5 minutes, that's better than nothing, but I need to refocus on forcing myself to do things.  I deliberated getting up and running this morning, but I knew I had Body Pump and teaching Zumba on the schedule for tonight and tomorrow I need to get up early to get my 8 miles in before going to donate platelets.  So I thought it would only be damaging to over compensate for my mistakes and that the extra hour of sleep would do me some good. I had a great workout in Body Pump, my awesome sister came and did it with me. I still haven't convinced her to try Zumba, but I will one of these days! My Zumba class was great, too, a lot of fun and I got a dose of much needed stress relief! I busted ass, too, so hopefully I got rid of a cookie or two. ;)  Okay, well I'm done on that soap box, one of these days I'll be able to tell you all that I finally hit 120 pounds and that all I had to do was rewire my brain!  :-p    Ooooh and I had written that I would post pictures of my awesome Social D shirt!  Mark took the pictures and I'm not certain, but I think he may have gotten full body (and my butt) in there on purpose.  Which I don't mind because after posting them on FB, I got tons of compliments, so whooooooops!  ;-)


Is anyone else out there struggling?  It's funny how one bad eating day can just really throw me off, I think I made a good decision when I decided that cookies are something I can't keep in the house.  They are something to bake and take to others or to just buy enough to have one of, but definitely not something to be just chilling in my kitchen.  It will be a good weekend!  I will make sure of it!

2 comments:

  1. You look awesome! Teeny tiny!

    I did my first Zumba class last Thirsday and then again today! I had so much fun!

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    Replies
    1. That's awesome! I'm so glad! It's hard to not have fun in Zumba!

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